An Ode to the Bike that Changed My Life (and a call to action)
An Emotional Reunion
This morning, after 377 days, my destroyed road bike was released back into my custody by the Henrico County Police.
Since the morning of August 13, 2022, everything with me the morning of the crash has been kept in the evidence room - a requirement of due process for Jeffery’s criminal case. But because Jeffery plead guilty to his charges in July, finally I was permitted to retrieve my things.
This was only possible with great effort and nagging on my part. There was never an offer made by the Commonwealth’s Attorney, I had to ask over and over and over again - When can I have my stuff back? Even after the guilty plea I had to send multiple emails to remind folks that I still wanted everything back. Then there was the red tape and approvals and signatures before finally it was approved. Then I had to make an appointment to visit the Property Room, but only during the extremely limited hours of 9am-3pm. This would have been a much greater challenge for anyone without a car and flexible work hours.
Alas, my bike computer, helmet, cycling shoes, bicycle, and bloodied clothing waited for me in a non-descript brick building near the police station - and I waited for the day to finally see the carnage of the accident that nearly robbed me of my life.
Laying eyes on the bike was emotional for me. It’s smashed rear wheel and frame triangle tells the story of the crash - a high speed impact from the rear, and a violent landing in the ditch. It clearly explains why both of my hip sockets were broken, as well as my collarbone, six of my ribs, and my right cheekbone. The carbon rear wheel rim is splintered and frayed, and the seat stay is completely missing.
Surprisingly there are parts of the bike unscathed, including the oil slick handlebar tape that I loved so much. My tire pump and bottle cages are salvageable, and my head-mounted bike computer still in good working order. The damage to my helmet confirms that my head did in fact hit the pavement, hard. My blood-soaked jersey and heart rate monitor chest-strap were cut off by the EMTs, but even still were signed into my custody in an evidence bag.
It’s difficult to see all of this, because it takes me back to the worst day of my life. It reminds me that despite my hardship, I am the lucky one.
I can’t help but think about Jonah and wish that she were here with me retrieving her bike.
Yes, the bike is just a thing, easily replaceable (and in fact has been replaced for many months now). But anyone who has ever really loved and cared for a bicycle knows that it so much more than the sum of its physical parts: it’s what the bicycle represents that holds its power.
A bicycle represents freedom and unlimited exploration of ourselves and our environment. Riding a bike is the ultimate human experience: union of human body power and human ingenuity. It’s the gateway to unparalleled connection with nature, reminding us of our own smallness, and simultaneously the awe and vastness of the world around us.
The broken bike is an admonition of violence, a visceral reminder that traffic violence is on the rise in our community.
The Bike that Changed My Life
I bought the Ultimate in October 2019 as an investment into the sport of triathlon. It was my first truly valuable possession. In my life I have never experienced wealth and have always had to work and save money for anything I wanted. This bike was no different. After a season of riding a mountain bike in triathlons, I wanted to experience speed. I found this beautiful little carbon bike online and had it shipped directly to me. Brian and I assembled it on his back porch and I fell in love immediately. Lightweight, nimble, with sexy lines and a matte black frame - it was a perfect machine.
When COVID struck in 2020, Brian and I were both furloughed from work. We spent all of our time during the lockdown riding bikes, and I came to understand the road bike as a symbol of freedom. That year I rode 5,000 miles - most of them on the Ultimate. We rode huge distances, at high speeds, spent whole days in the saddle, and explored scenery that filled me with awe.
Cruising down mountain passes at 40 mph, hugging the turns, surfing the terrain, I found tranquility in the absolute confidence I held in the bike. I knew its balance point and understood its personality. We communicated through pedal strokes and whirring sound of the hub. We were so in-tune, I often forgot that I was even riding a bike. After so many hours together, it became just an extension of my body.
The Ultimate was the first bike to truly shine a light on Possibility, and my true physical potential. I fell in love with cycling while riding that bike.
Turning Tragedy into Activism
I share all of this with you because I believe my story can make a positive impact. Rather than hiding or spreading anger, I choose to use my voice to inspire other people. My hope is that sharing the rawness and the impact of my crash will help prevent it from happening to someone else.
Traffic violence changes lives, and it robs our neighborhoods of peace and sanctity. But so much of it is preventable.
Until our community takes collective action to curb distracted, impaired, and reckless driving, more people will lose their lives. More people will experience life altering injuries and trauma.
Together we can alter the course, we can make positive change. But it’s going to take each and every one of us standing up publicly for what we believe. We can spread awareness and grow public support. We can write to our elected officials, create petitions, and share comments at public hearings. Through these actions we can generate government funding for programs and infrastructure projects. We can lobby our legislators to establish laws that penalize individuals who violate the safety and sanctity of our neighborhoods.
Together we can accomplish so much. But it has to start right here, in our own hearts.
The way towards a brighter, safer future starts with the individual choices that we make each day, and the ways in which we treat the people around us.
It starts with taking radical action in our daily lives to personally manifest the change that we want to see in the world.
With Love, Natalie